The Big Iraq Candy Mountain

Inspired by BroD’s comment on Brad DeLong’s post on Bush’s latest delusional statement about Iraq being a model democracy — with apologies to Burl Ives, Haywire Mac, hoboes, and anyone else involved with “The Big Rock Candy Mountain”

In the Big Iraq Candy Mountain, it’s a land that’s fair and bright,
No one’s ever heard of IEDs, and the streets are safe at night.
Kidnappers all have rubber knives, and the car bombs don’t go off.
There’s a nice cool breeze, and no disease,
And we finally found those WMDs,
In the Big Iraq Candy Mountain.

Chorus:
Oh, the flowers and sweets from the crowds in the streets
By the Coca-Cola fountain,
The eagles soar, and there’s no civil war,
In the Big Iraq Candy Mountain.

In the Big Iraq Candy Mountain, the terrorists always lose,
And the folks have purple fingers, and they vote for who they choose.
The women wear just what they want, and the men can shave their beards.
The people are free, there’s democracy,
And Sunni, Kurd, and Shi’a are a family
In the Big Iraq Candy Mountain.

In the Big Iraq Candy Mountain, not a single child is hurtin’,
And billions of dollars are all well spent, thanks to friends at Halliburton.
The schools are freshly painted, ’lectricity runs all day.
They get HBO, and there ain’t no snow,
And the people never, ever want our troops to go,
In the Big Iraq Candy Mountain.