Joe Lieberman Asks Us to Believe Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast

Via Atrios, I see that Joe Lieberman has an op-ed in the Hartford Courant this morning. The overall theme of the piece — that Lieberman, the 18-year incumbent, is an agent of change, while Ned Lamont represents the status quo — is ridiculous enough, but the passage about Iraq is delusional:

I believe that the best way for us to win the war in Iraq is to come together — the administration, Congress, and Republicans and Democrats — to find a solution that will allow our troops to come home with Iraq united and free, with the Middle East stable and the terrorists denied a victory [and everyone getting a pony].

Lieberman is asking us, like the White Queen, to believe six impossible things before breakfast:

First, he asks us to believe that there is a magical solution to the current mess that will solve all the problems in Iraq and throughout the Middle East while allowing us to bring our troops home. He of course gives no clue as to what that solution might actually be (perhaps he favors the Instapundit solution).

Second, he asks us to believe that assuming such a magical solution existed, the Bush administration — never previously known for its imagination, and hampered by its refusal to listen to anyone who disagrees — would be able to find it.

Third, he asks us to believe that after finding such a solution, the administration would bring Democrats in on selling it and implementing it, forgoing any opportunity to use it as a political club. Are we assuming Karl Rove is going on an extended vacation?

Fourth, he asks us to believe that Democrats — after repeated betrayals from the Republicans on every attempt at cooperation since Bush squandered the unprecedented national and international unity that existed after the 9/11 attacks — would go back to playing Charlie Brown to the Republicans’ football-holding Lucy. This one is perhaps the most believable of the bunch, but Democrats seem to be getting a little smarter about playing the game.

Fifth, he asks us to believe that if everyone got together on this magical plan, the administration would carry it out competently. For that, I refer you to Daniel Davies’ challenge from three and a half years ago. What reason is there to believe the Bush administration can do anything competently?

Sixth, and finally, Lieberman asks us to believe that he himself is essential to the plan. It’s true that he considers himself so vital to the war effort that he’s willing to sabotage his own party and reduce the chances of anyone ever holding the Bush administration accountable for anything, but is there really anyone else out there who has such an exaggerated notion of the qualities and importance of Joe Lieberman?

It’s time for Joe to go.